Quick guide to take back control of your life

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Quick guide to take back control of your life

Are you a mum with small children who is feeling overwhelmed, but really wants to bring some calm and confidence back into your life?

Maybe you know you want to feel in control again and be happier, for yourself and your children, but right now it all seems too much and you don’t know where to start.

It is easy to feel overwhelmed when you have small (and even not-so-small) children, when you’re working, trying to maintain the house, maintain a relationship (marriage or otherwise), catch up with friends occasionally and keep some sense of who you were before you had children. I am here to tell you that you can have it all, but not necessarily at the same time. My aim is that you can have everything under control and feel like the kick ass mum you are, join a special group of mums to find the right path towards your happiness. STOP feeling overwhelmed because you’re so busy doing all the other things and START feeling like you can achieve everything you need to and have some time for you as well.

Solutions to manage all the things

I have worked with many clients who feel overwhelmed when it comes to the juggle of motherhood and they feel like they’re failing when they let one ball drop in order to save one or two others. They feel like they are constantly making choices. The strategies that I teach them to help them fell organised and on top of everything they’re trying to do include scheduling a lot of the mundane things to remove them from the thinking space in their heads. For example, meal planning for the week ahead, online shopping, scheduling regular household bills, working out a household budget and scheduling in a regular date night (even if it’s just on the couch watching a movie once the kids have gone to sleep). We work through all of these things in our group so join a special group of mums to find the right path towards your happiness.

It is easy to feel like you’re so busy doing all the things that there is little (or no) time for you to enjoy moments with your children. Time to go exploring in the garden or simply to sit and do a puzzle together.

Solutions to enjoy more special moments with the kids

Once you have many of the above daily or weekly things scheduled in, it reduces (0r hopefully eliminates) the need for you to think about them. You know you’ve got them sorted so there’s no need to constantly be trying to remember what you have to do. This opens up plenty more time for you to join your kids for those quiet special moments like drawing or doing a puzzle or if you have a son like mine a quick lightsaber battle or beyblade rip. You will find yourself saying “yes” more than you say “no”. The mum guilt reduces significantly and everyone is happier. So, what are you waiting for? Pick the biggest thing that you want to take off your mind and schedule it. If you need help come into our group and ask all our mums (and me of course) for some help to do it right for you.

How do you start your day? Do you bounce out of bed ready to go or do you get dragged out by a demanding child? Let’s be realistic and aim for somewhere in the middle of these two scenarios. What self talk do you say as you’re waking up and getting out of bed? If it is quite negative (eg. here we go again, I’m too tired for this etc) then you’re not alone.

Solutions for waking up and confidently starting your day

Did you know that how you choose to start your day contributes greatly to how happy you are throughout your day? This is one of those situations where I will teach you that you are in control of your life. You make the choices. You are your thoughts and you are in control of your thoughts. It’s amazing how saying different things to yourself changes your whole outlook on things. Try these simple switches:

  • if a child wakes you up, say “I’m grateful that you feel you can come to me for comfort”
  • if they climb into bed with you in the middle of the night, say “I will miss this when they get older”
  • before you get out of bed, say “this is going to be a great day”, “I am enough” and “I am loved”
  • when you’re hanging your third load of washing for the day, say “I’m grateful we can all have clean clothes”

Even if you don’t fully believe these things that you’re saying to yourself, just saying them will change your outlook on the day and will help prevent you heading in that negative self talk direction. Try it today!

Do you get to the end of the day and feel exhausted and like all you’ve done is look after everyone else and now you’re too tired to look after yourself? Does every day feel like Groundhog Day to you? Are you shattered by 7pm after running around non-stop all day and trying to get all of the things done?

Want to feel like you can handle everything? 

Are you getting enough sleep? This is often one of my first questions when mums come to see me about feeling overwhelmed. We’ve all experienced sleep deprivation at some stage and remember how debilitating it is. You will never feel successful if you’re not getting enough sleep because you will not feel like you’re at your best. You won’t have as much energy as you’d like, you won’t have the patience you need multiple times throughout the day and you won’t say “yes” to activities with the kids as much as you should. Now please, start telling me all the “buts” – “but I have a newborn that wakes multiple times during the night”, “but I have active toddlers that I can’t keep up with during the day”, and my personal favourite “but I don’t have time to go to bed early”. I will redirect you to a few paragraphs earlier when I told you that you are in control – and if you don’t feel like you are, I can teach you how to get back in control.

Bring the control and peace back into your days

So where do you start? Write down one thing you want to do for you each day – something different each day. It might be read your book for 30mins, it might be to do 20mins of yoga, it might be to have a bath on your own in complete peace, it might be to make yourself some healthy snacks to get you through the next few weeks. The strategy is to decide on one thing that will give you joy and bring you peace and schedule it in to make sure it happens – because, remember, you are in control. If it doesn’t happen, it’s because you didn’t make it happen. And if something does legitimately come up to thwart your plans, talk positively that you will get back on track the following day.

Feel successful in your motherhood journey

My aim is that you can feel like you have time to play with your little ones and feel like the kick ass mum you are, join a special group of mums to find the right path towards your happiness. STOP feeling like you’re missing out on precious time with your kids because you’re so busy doing all the other things and START feeling like you can achieve everything you need to and be with your little ones for some special time each day too.

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