What is self care, really?

What is Self Care, really?

Woman Sleeping with Eye Mask

You'll often hear me say that self care isn't just bubble baths and massages, however it can be both of those things. It can be sleeping in for the morning, having a nap in the afternoon, going out for lunch with a friend or preparing your own lunch the night before going to work. It can be seeing a therapist about an issue that's been bothering you for a while now, snuggling up on the couch to a movie with your partner once the kids are asleep and it could even be sitting and planning out the week ahead to reduce your stress.

So what exactly is self care?

Self care is making sure your needs are met so that you can be the best possible version of yourself. Take a moment to read that again and let it sink in properly.

mum overwhelmed at kitchen sink

Self care is a process

It won't happen overnight, but you can make it happen.

Self care is an on-going process that you need to maintain on a regular basis.

How do I make this happen for me?

Self care is a process. Quite often we've been neglecting ourselves for so long that we've forgotten how to take time out for ourselves and focus on our own needs.

There are 6 stages to successfully feel re-energised as a mum that you need to work through. There is no timeline for each stage - sometimes mums can breeze through a stage in a few days or a week, while others take a few weeks. It all depends how much of your time and headspace you can dedicate to the process. However, this isn't a race and every step forward is going to make you feel more energised, confident and competent in your motherhood journey.

mums having coffee

Where can I start?

The first stage to work through is Reflecting. You've decided that you're ready for a different way of living your life. You want to feel more content, smile and laugh more and feel more like yourself - or as least the self that you remember before you had kids.

Here are some questions to ponder when you're in this first stage:

  • What are my first thoughts when I wake up (or am woken up) either during the night or in the morning?
  • How do I feel when I think of my children?
  • How do I feel when I think of my partner?
  • What do I miss about my life before children?
  • How do I feel each evening once the kids are in bed?
  • If I didn't have a family and I didn't need to work, what would I do tomorrow?
  • How are your current energy levels out of 10?
  • If you became sick and unable to work or care for your children tomorrow, do you feel you'd be supported sufficiently?

Throughout this first stage you can journal or meditate on these questions. As you work through them you might develop some extra questions or find yourself taking some detours to other areas of your life and reflecting on those.

mum zoning out

So what next?

As I said this is only the first of 6 stages and there is not set timeframe in which you have to move through the stages. If you're serious about learning the modern way of enjoying motherhood, my Modern Motherhood Method Program is perfect for you. It will guide you through each stage in turn and show you exactly what you need in order to be happier and how to get it. By the end of the program you will feel re-energised and rejuvenated each and every day because you know that you've taken the right steps to get yourself exactly where you need to be. If you're not sure if this program is right for you, book in a free strategy call so I can help you figure it out.

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